A True Story; Love; Peace; Mercy

A TRUE STORY

I have a close friend who has experienced a most beautiful touch of God’s grace in the restoration of his relationship with his wife. As a matter of propriety, I shall not mention his name here, but will refer to him as Mike. Mike lives with his wife, a beautiful and wonderful woman whom he married few years back. A woman befitting the description of the godly wife in Prov. 12:4 who is the “crown of her husband," Mike described his wife to be undoubtedly his pride and joy. Indeed, apart from his relationship with the Lord, to which Mike’s devotion is most inspiring, I do not know of any other thing that Mike valued and cherished above his wife. There was absolutely no other thing, no hobby or leisure, that Mike found more engaging than spending time with his wife. Mike was faithful in his devotion and walk with God, but apart from this, he gave the rest of his time and energy unreservedly to his wife. He was wholly immersed in the worship of the Lord and love of his wife. Of great remarkable quality was the delight and pleasure Mike enjoyed in his marriage until one day when his wife broke a most inconceivable and most unwelcome news to him - a confession of the affair she had with a man in the early years of their marriage when she was still young and immature in the Lord. This unexpected confession triggered off much anguish and hurt in Mike. He struggled with conflicting feelings between contemplating divorce and enduring the relationship to the end. From then, Mike slumped into frequent moods of depression that has never happened to him before.

As I walked Mike through the healing process, I learnt many precious lessons from the Lord as He turned Mike’s ashes of hurt and anguish into such great beauty of truth and love. Brother Mike has since requested that these things be recorded so that the Lord’s counsel and ministry may reach and benefit the people who read about them today. “Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” - 2 Cor. 1:3-4.

Love

Through this experience, the Spirit showed us clearly the difference between human love and the love of God. There is no doubt that Mike loved his wife . He loved her dearly, even sacrificially, I may add. However, when the storms surfaced, Mike’s ‘perfect’ love began to falter - blemishes began to show and, at some stage, his love almost went undercurrent. He wanted so much for his wife to remain pure and chaste, holy and without blemish. Not to say that it was wrong of Mike to have so wanted; in fact, it is every husband’s pride to have a wife who is pure and chaste. However, to withhold forgiveness and withdraw love and affection from a spouse who has failed us is not approving with God. Still, inasmuch as he loved his wife, Mike could not acquit her unsteadiness. He struggled painfully with forgiveness and accepting his wife. He carried these feelings of distress and bore silent reproach against his wife, and he continued feeling this way until such feelings brought him to realise that the perfect and unconditional love he thought he had for his wife all along did not exist at all, or if it did it was somewhat marred by a silent streak of selfishness on his part. Examining his own thoughts, Mike realized that the reason he had wanted his wife to be the kind of perfection that he could be proud of, was not so much because she could then be a woman who is pure and blameless before the Lord like a pleasing sacrifice (Eph. 5:27), but really because he wanted to be a husband who can take pride in his wife, as a man who would be the envy of all other men on account of his wife’s good repute. He wanted to enjoy the emotional joy and pride a husband of such a woman would feel, but each time his memory calls out the thought of his wife being defiled by another man, Mike retreated into depression and wretchedness of heart as he resigned himself to sorry and grief.

One would have imagined it must be allowed for Mike to react the way he did - to feel the anguish, hurt and sorrow that he felt. After all, here was a case of faultless love betrayed. Yet, the Spirit of God did not allow him to indulge in these negative emotions for long. For the word of the Spirit came to Mike clearly, saying “What I have cleansed you must not consider unclean. Inasmuch as her sin has caused you much hurt and pain, so it did to me, at an even greater blow. But she has repented before Me and I have since forgiven her and, forgetting her murky past, I now consider her beautiful in My sight.” The Spirit also continued to remind Mike of how God had called Hosea, a prophet holy before Him, to marry a harlot, a morally loose and socially despised woman, and used the chance through such an unconventional marriage to manifest His love for Israel by Hosea accepting his wife again when she returned after having strayed from their marriage. Almost every one of us would agree how awfully difficult it must have been for Hosea to love and cherish a wife who has lain with so many others, yet, he did not fail her in this matter. He died to his own joy and pursued the Lord’s joy for his marriage. The Lord said also to Mike, “Would you die to your own emotion and seek My heartbeat instead; to rejoice when I rejoice, to pain and suffer when I pain and suffer, to show mercy when I do, and to love when I love?” These words were driven deeply into Mike’s heart. The love that Mike had for his wife - that which he once thought was superlative, began to pale shamefully in the standard of the Lord’s love.

Truly “Vanity of vanities …. all is vanity…(Eccl. 1:2),…except to love God and to serve Him only “(Eccl. 12:13). When we set our hearts on things that passes away instead of looking beyond to where everlasting joy abides, when we are full only of the things of this life, then we have yet to step out from the world of vanity into the realm of the eternal. A man is wise, therefore, who withdraws his heart from the love of the visible and from momentary emotional satisfaction, and turn it towards things that are eternal. If all that separates reality from eternity is an elevated platform, it would be good for the eyes of our mind to ‘stand’ atop that platform and view reality from that ‘eternal’ (platform) point of view. When Mike continues in the awareness of being an immediate party to his marriage i.e. the one who ‘owns’ his wife, he sees himself as completely arrested and overwhelmed by the conditions and circumstances of his position, and therefore feels thoroughly let down and humiliated by the infidelity that had interrupted his cherished marriage. But as he ‘stood away’ from the marriage, so to speak, and pictured himself as seeing through the eyes of God looking down at his marriage from an elevated point of view, he immediately saw how insignificant things look from there, how inconsequential a ‘major’ problem is in the eternal realm. His senses enlightened, Mike subsequently found it so much easier to forgive and to receive his wife back again. He found himself more ready and indeed more able, to dispense greater generosity in loving his wife and in restoring her to their marriage.

We all need to learn this lesson, which can keep us from heartaches and other forms of emotion wrenches. If we persist in seeking satisfaction from things in this life, we will always be miserable and disappointed, for everything pertaining to this life, even the most ‘perfect’ of them all, is vulnerable and susceptible to blemish. This is because we do not live in a perfect world where everything and anything around us is all about heaven and bliss! Mike learnt this from experience: he unconsciously allowed his wife to become an idol in his life (anything that we depend on for satisfaction, peace and joy is an idol to us). How our hearts can blind our judgment, even of ourselves! While the rest of the world thought of Mike as one whose source of joy and strength is in the God whom he loves and serves so zealously, the Holy Spirit reveals the source of his satisfaction and pleasure to be his wife instead. When his previously envied status of being her husband faced the threat of being despised, Mike developed an insecurity and distress no amount of consolation could correct. The author in Ecclesiastes had similar sentiment: given to seeking satisfaction and pleasure in the world around him, he lived tirelessly, tasting everything under the sun. He erected big stately houses, planted row after rows of vineyards and groomed acres after acres of lush gardens and even had storehouses that gathered prized treasures of silver and gold. Indeed, “whatever (his) eyes desired, he did not keep from them. He did not withhold his heart from any pleasure” (Eccl. 2:3-10). The verdict at the end of this pleasure chase? “Everything is vanity……” his wisdom declares. What then is the author’s conclusion? If doing all that a man ever wanted is still not sufficient to give him full satisfaction, what else could? What is it that can complete a man, and make him whole and fulfilled? The author did not leave us guessing. He gave us the way to find our purpose in creation, the prescription to wholeness and completeness:

“Fear God (revere and worship Him, knowing that He is) and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man (the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God’s providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the Sun) and the whole (duty) for every man .” - Eccl. 12:13 Amp.

God has given us many things at the disposal of our stewardship to enjoy, and He gave plenty for our pleasure. The trouble is when men begin to hold on to them and lay claim to them as if they really belonged to him. All things, whether tangible or intangible, belong to God and, they are given us not with title of possession but in the principle of stewardship. The things or persons that we call “beloved” really belong to our “Beloved” (God). We therefore ought not to love and treasure them in our own human way or affection, not even in the manner that measures up to society’s notions of nobility. Instead, we ought to love and treasure them the right way, that is, to hold and regard them in God’s higher manner of divine love and cherish. For if we render or administer love in the capacity of carnal man, then sooner or later we will realise that our love, regardless of how perfect or acceptable it may seem, is really shadowed by an imperfection of some kind, and virtually nothing comparison to God’s standard of love. We cannot run away from this, since all men is imperfect, and therefore even the highest love evolving from the heart of men would contain some stint of imperfection that time or circumstances would soon uncover. God’s love, however, is different, coming from a different dimension and being of a higher standard. Such love never fails (1 Cor. 13:8), and is able to endure and smooth over wounds of even the deepest betrayal.

This simple truth was a soothing balm in healing Mike’s wounded heart, and it has since enabled him to love his wife the way God’s love directs. The word “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church…” (Eph. 5:28) took on a new meaning in his life. Mike’s wife confessed to adultery, but the Bride (we, the church) of Christ is no less guilty! When we ‘flirt’ with the things of the world and allow ourselves to be defiled with the ways of the world, we commit spiritual adultery, so to speak. Yet, God receives us with assurances of love and acceptance each time we repent. How then can we refuse to receive and restore a once unfaithful spouse who repents, when even God Himself does not withhold mercy from us who have so often dishonoured our relationship with Him by continuing in our association with the world and its ways! God has never rejected any stray-away sheep that returns to the pasture, but like how the father received the prodigal son after his fun and revelry, God our Father also receives us warmly and unconditionally when we turn from the world and run back to Him. Mike has chosen (wisely) to adopt such divine way of loving his wife. Leaving his broken heart on the Cross and putting the heart of Christ in its place, he renewed his strength to love. His heart on the Cross, Mike laid aside his natural love for his wife and determined to love her with the heart of Christ, with even greater tenderness, devotion and cherish. He wanted to give his wife the best, to give her the chance of experiencing the reality of God’s love through him.

It is our earnest prayer and desire that those who have been previously hurt and who are still suffering anguish from a wrong in their relationship would find comfort in Mike’s experience. The key is to die to everything inside of us or rather to all of us and seek only the love of God in us. We can never come to attain freedom of mind unless we give ourselves up to come under the love of God. However, coming under the love of God also means having to endure and bear whatever His love encompass, for God’s love “bears all things, … endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:7). To live with God’s heart in us and to live in the reality of His love, one must be willing to bear whatever pleases God to bear. Let us bear the cross cheerfully, for when we do, it will in turn carry us and lead us into perfect peace and joy. If we persist in insisting on our rights, such unyielding attitude may eventually cost us the loss of love. We may even end up being obsessive about the whole idea of righteousness but deficient in love. Directly or indirectly, we hurt ourselves and others when we serve God and His people with our “unsanctified” love. We can only be great for God when we are great with His love. We are truly blessedwhen we discount all earthly things and self emotion ” that we may gain Christ” (Phil 3:8). Let us pray that we may allow God to graciously form His love in us so that it becomes “no longer I who live but Christ lives in me” (Gal. 2:20). Only then can we rightly represent God and minister the heart of God to His people.

It may seem totally unfeeling for us to discount the value of human love, but in the tenderness of our emotion, let us not forget that the Lord Jesus Himself rebuked His disciple sharply when the latter made a statement out of pure human love (Matt. 16:21-23). Peter, out of his devotion for Jesus pleaded with Him not to go to the cross. Most of us would expect the Lord to be touched by such expression of love, but instead of appreciating Peter’s love, Jesus rebuked him for allowing Satan to veil his eyes from the eternal purpose of God! The gravity of the mistake of ministering in human love! Such love, even though completely genuine, creates an occasion for the devil to hinder Jesus from His purpose. Our human affections, no matter how pure and genuine, if not guided and sanctified by the Spirit, can be a stepping stone for Satan to bring stumbling blocks upon the body of Christ. We wonder why sometimes our works in the ministry are not as effective as they should/can be. For a good part of the time, it is because we come from the motivation of human love instead of divine love. This not only hinders the blessings that are designed to flow from the ministering of divine love to the people, but may even distract us from obedience to straying into satisfying our own desires and ambitions. May the supreme Lord now set us free from all selfish passions and heal our hearts of all inordinate affections; that being inwardly healed and thoroughly cleansed, we may be made ready to love, strengthened to suffer, and powered to persevere. A true lover ought to embrace all, even that which is hard and bitter, for the sake of his Beloved.

Knowing this, we endeavour therefore to always be patient in bearing with the defects and shortcomings of others, whatever these may be. For we also carry failings that we may or may not be aware of, which will be borne by the people around us. (1 Thess. 5:15; Gal. 6:1). What then is it that we accommodate or put up with the handicap of others when these people also have to do the same with ours? We talk about equity, but at the same time we demand perfection from others when we cannot correct our own faults. We give hearty consent to others being severely corrected, but we will by no means be straightened ourselves. The generous space of liberty others create for themselves gets to us, yet we will not allow our desires denied us. We think it is only reasonable that others lead a disciplined life, but we cast off fetters and would bear no restraint. If men were perfect at all, why then did Paul have to suffer for the people? “ I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church “(Col. 1:24) But God has ordered it that we bear one another’s burden “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). Paul prayed for the thorn in his flesh to be removed - perhaps he thought the pain was so unbearable that he could really bring more glory to God had the thorn not been there. But again, only God knows whether we would be a better person and do better work with the thorn than without it. Mike once thought that having a pure and perfect wife would allow him to bring more glory to God …..; God remains the judge of what is best.

Nothing can happen to us that is not already known to God. For “Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber or sleep” (Ps. 121:3) and “the ways of men are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his path”(Prov. 5:21). That knowledge alone should give us sufficient reason for comfort. No matter how tempestuous the storms of life or how bitter its fruit, Jesus our Lord bore it before us. He had gone before us, walked through the storms and, prevailed. He comes now only to walk us through the waves. The Lord is able to bring us out by His blessing, turn ashes into beauty and give the oil of joy for our mourning (Is 61:3). The only condition is that we abide in Him, to see the situations and circumstances of things through His eyes and, to let our hearts beat to the rhythm of His, pulsating steadily with His compassion, mercy and love.
David was a man after God’s own heart. He would not even lift a finger to restrain the lunatic who cursed and cast stones at him. The Bible tells us it was because David believed that God must have allowed it (2 Sam. 16:5-3). While his subjects displayed great indignation on his behalf, David was not in the least disturbed by the onslaught of savagery against him. The king gave no further attention to the humiliation; in high-mindedness, he was more concerned about God’s plan and purpose in that circumstance. At the end of the day, it is not all the hassle and bustle that goes into making a cake that wins the day, but the cake itself. Likewise, unpleasant though the process might be, so long as we fix our eyes on the end, it gives us the strength we need to make it there. May God then grant us the understanding that David had, that come what may, we will always trust in His goodness and His love.

Peace

In the episode mentioned above, David held his peace even when stone after stone was hurled at him. David did not hold it against the offender, not even when his subjects burned with indignation on the King’s behalf! But realise that David was not merely just tolerating or enduring the hostility. More than that, he was exhibiting a remarkable peace! Tolerance or endurance is not the issue here - peace is. The peace that held the King - such peace that could withstand even the most violent of invasion and still overcome with grace. Wouldn’t it be great if every one of us could in times of adversity experience the kind of peace and maintain the mood of composure that David displayed? Sure, most of us would not say no to having more peace in our lives, in fact, you and I are trying hard to lead a peaceful life all the time! But realise this: if we will have peace with ourselves and amity with others at all, we need to first come ready to deny our self/interests in quite a few things. We need first to disengage ourselves from the circumstances and be broken down before peace can flow and guard our lives. This has to precede the supreme, almost divine, experience of peace in turmoil. For one who seeks after his personal desires will not come to any enduring fulfillment but only end up in a life of tribulation and sorrow in a dark cold abyss (Eccl. 1:17-18).

Let the inclinations of our hearts accord with the Lord’s good pleasure. Let us desire what He desires and reject what He rejects. It may sound idealistic to some of us, but it is not impossible and, we know we are there when we cease to be lovers of self, but earnest doers of His will. One of the reasons why we achieve so little and cannot go far with God is because we are too engaged in fulfilling our own passions and too easily disturbed by the transitory things of this world - transitory because these things or issues are those which cannot or will not be carried into eternity. If we, however, could lay all things aside and were dead unto ourselves and not all knotted-up and entangled within our ourselves but are fully reconciled within, then we, too, would embrace heavenly things more easily and readily.

Mike used to enjoy treasured peace and bliss with God, but upon his wife’s confession of infidelity, that peace quickly departed and vanished from him. It was only after a conscious and honest examination of himself before the Lord that he finally came to realise that the peace that he had all along came from his satisfaction and pride in his own righteousness and that of having a perfect wife. It was hardly surprising then that he should lose that peace the moment something threatened its foundation. True peace, however, is in our being and not in our having. How many of us have lost our peace when things do not turn out the way we think it should. Jesus, knowing that this would happen, specifically told us, saying, “ Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled. These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.” (Jn. 14:27; 16:33). So then, if the Lord promised peace to all who abide in Him, can we then conclude from here that all of us today who are not experiencing peace are not abiding in Him? Most probably, we are still too caught up with ourselves, i.e with our career, our principles, hobbies etc. We are still seeking ourselves, so to speak. Whenever a man desires anything inordinately (anything out of what God has ordered would be for this purpose, be considered inordinate), he is immediately disquietened within himself. True peace of heart therefore is found by resting our passion and emotional desire before the Lord. Therefore a man should learn to resolve himself so fully in God that he need not seek any consolation of man. Let us lay the axe to the root so that being freed from emotional entanglements we may go forth to possess peace in our souls.

David did not see the need to confront that violator (the stone-thrower) because he realised that if he was not sent by God, God Himself would exact vengeance. It was this attitude that kept him in his peace. Unless we begin to see things in such perspective, we will not come to receive the strength to ride the trials of life. Only those who are willing to loose everything into the hands of God will have their peace in life. Our hearts go out to those who are hurting, those who have been unfairly treated, and those physically or emotionally abused and bruised and especially those who suffer in their marriages. It is our prayer that you will allow this truth to transcend and set you free, that you run not after the peace that the world offers but that which only God can give. The things of the world, whatever it may be, can never ever give us true peace. For as long as we live in this imperfect world, there will always be injustice against us. We just have to commit our grievances to the Lord and trust in Him. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. If we do that, He shall delight us in the abundance of peace (Ps. 37:5,7,11). For God has intended, right from the start, that peace should come about in our being and not in our having or not having.

We all agree that it is a grievous mistake to misrepresent God. In Ex. 20:1-13, Moses made a grave mistake of misrepresenting God before Israel when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it as commanded by the Lord. The judgment that followed was of such severity it cost Moses his entry to the promised land. The God-appointed leader who had been faithful all those while to lead the Lord’s people out of the land of slavery was kept out of the promised land himself because of this one mistake that he made in misrepresenting God. The Lord wanted to provide for His people, to give them water, and He did so even when Moses misrepresented Him! Moses should have spoken to the Rock, and the water would come forth, but he struck it instead. Yet, the water still flowed! God was clearly displeased, but He still chose to bless the people with water even when His servant Moses misrepresented His intentions. Sometimes when we do not work things in the way of the Lord He still works through us, but only for the sake of His people. How often have we mistakenly thought that every successful ministry must indefinitely be one that pleases the Lord, that it came because of our strength/obedience in the Lord! To constantly be in peace from the time God calls us out of ‘Egypt’ to the ‘Promised Land’, we need to wholly abide in Him, and absolutely too. Fronting peace is bitterness, and often bitterness is manifested in ‘unrighteous anger’, so to speak, which keeps us out of the ‘promised land’. We must therefore yield ourselves to represent and reflect God’s heart and mind unerringly. Have we been a right image - bearer for the Lord when dealing with our so perceived “unreasonable/selfish” spouse?
When the Lord Jesus hung on the Cross, He asked for water, but was offered gall adulterated with wine/vinegar, a mixture that could assuage pain. Certainly, it would have helped make the pain more bearable, but Jesus rejected the drink. Instead, He chose to bear the pain for us. Today, many of us who love the Lord avail our shoulders for the cross, but how we jump at the opportunity to drink that gall and wine mixture! We want the diluted experience of the cross - sympathy, empathy, comfort, consolation etc. Present in almost every one of us is a languish for love and sympathy, and wherever we are, we seek gratification from every available source, feeling aggrieved each time it is not found. This only reveals how little we know of the cross of Jesus Christ. The cross is a depiction of joyful quietism of the bearer, an act of a reception of the will of God. Because Mike obeyed the qualities of the Cross, his family was saved from the wicked scheme of the devil and the true love of God found its way into the family. Settling ourselves in divine peace is of paramount importance if we would be a vessel of peace in ruffled waters. For until and unless we embrace the cross with all willingness of heart peace can never reign in our lives. Let us seek to be a vessel to bring peace, be it in our home, office or church, for that is true service for God. Divorce and breakdowns in Christian families are usually results of both parties not willing to bear with the defect and fault of each other. As believers having the peace of God shed abroad in our hearts, we are able to deny ourselves so that through our suffering others can see the image of God in us, and that is what we must all do if we will have it said of us that we love one another with the love of God. If we truly want to reign with Christ, let us be strong with Christ and for Christ.

Mercy

In Moses’ days, God chose to dwell among His people in the Tabernacle. There, God chose to manifest His glory in the Holy of Holies. The Holy of Holies thus became the most supreme and glorious place on earth. It is interesting to note that the most powerful and glorious place on this earth where God has chosen to manifest His glory was called the Mercy Seat. Notice that God did not call it the Power, or Justice, or Glory Seat, but He called it the Mercy Seat. For God out of His unfathomable love for His people chose to deal with us in mercy.

Think about this: if God has chosen to deal with us from a Justice Seat, who do you think can stand before Him? No one at all! The compassion of mercy is what sustains the world today. Thus, if God has chosen to deal in mercy, then mercy is also what’s required of us in our dealings with people if we truly want reconciliation and healing from our hurt. For it is mercy that enables unequivocal forgiveness. Many a times when offenses come to us, we demand responsibility, justice and equity, when the alternative, and perhaps the better approach would be to empathize and show compassion and mercy. The compassion of mercy enables us to forgive unconditionally and annul the moral and emotional debts owed to us.

Understanding this, Mike decided that he would render mercy to his wife and having done so, he annulled absolutely the moral debts she owed to him in their marriage. Just as how God sustained the world by His mercy, so Mike learnt to sustain his family by that same mercy instead of enforcing his justifiable rights. Many of us have yet to learn this lesson since we often allow ourselves to be made ineffective in the ministry because of unforgiveness. When we allow bitterness to take root in us, we bring upon ourselves trouble and distress. Worse, we may even cause the body of Christ to be defiled in severe cases (Heb. 12:15).

God says in Heb. 8:12 “I will be merciful to their unrighteous, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more”. Today, we continue in misery and sorrow because we often remember what God has chosen to forget and we forget what He has chosen to remember. While God chooses to forget the trespass of our neighbours, we remember them in detail; and while He remembers to show loving kindness to the vilest offender, we forget all about mercy in the intensity of our hurts. Every trial in life introduces a person to himself. When we refuse to change, we end up in chains. If we do not overcome our emotion, we will be overcome by it. Lose grasp of our emotions and your emotions will control us. We need to break the power of the past that tries to dominate our present and determine our future. To capitalise on present circumstances and opportunities, we need to conclude our past, just like how Joseph did to his. Thrown into a pit and abandoned by his brothers, Joseph was left to die. Yet God would have him saved and even see Him govern Egypt. The day then came when the same people who had once offended him needed his favour. Joseph could have refused - he was in the position to do so! He could easily have just sent them off without any provisions. Yet, he chose to forgive and what more, to forget! Joseph said the Lord had caused him to forget all the sufferance his brothers subjected him to. (Gen. 41:51)

Forgiveness finds its roots in the soil of self-sacrifice. To forgive unconditionally, we almost always have to forego some of our rights and interests. There is just no other way - Satan cannot cast out Satan, so resentment or misgivings will by no means deliver us from the hurt of our afflictions. It is when our boundaries or rights are violated and we choose nevertheless to submit to God that we can be said to be true bearers of the cross. Here, the cross does its most potent work by importing the life of the Word into the heart of the believer. Through the process of this Word (now in our hearts) being tested and tried in the furnace of affliction, and in our submission thereof, we are changed. Trials and affliction provide opportunities for us to grow in grace and die a little more to our pride and other motives. For though we are saved by grace, we will need all of the grace God can offer to make it through this life the way He wants us to. Grace upon our lives can only come about by prayer (Heb. 4:16). There is not one who can make it through the testing of his faith without a life of prayer, for the operative work of grace is really evoked by prayer. The more time one spends praying, the more experiences of victory he will have in his life, no doubt. It is our union with Christ through prayer that we get to experience a new life in the spirit that releases ultimate victory.

Those of you who are hurting and seeking for healing from your wounds, together with those who truly want to be a vessel of honour in God’s hand, do not ever cease to pray for grace. Let us pray that God will grant us the capacity to desire and will as He desires and wills, that His will be ours and that we will agree perfectly with it. Let God also grant that we may die to all things that are in the world and above all things that can be desired, to rest satisfied in Him. Only then can we experience true peace that guards our heart and divine love and compassion of mercy that flow through us. For only then can we truly manifest the image of Christ by discharging the ministry of reconciliation ( 2 Cor. 5:18) entrusted to us. Let us endeavour earnestly to make Gal. 2:20 true in our lives that “it is no longer (we) who live, but Christ lives in (us).”

We have added the following article as a conclusion to the contents of this book because we believe that only when we are successful in our homes and are able to minister and represent God in our homes, are we able to serve Him in the Church and the world . To do that one must see himself /herself as a vessel of reconciliation and restoration for their spouse for God’s purpose and destiny to work out in their lives.